VOMIT SONG

Lyrics by

Donald R. Burleson

Copyright © 2007 by Donald R. Burleson. All rights reserved.

(To go to the “About the Author” page, click here.)

(Sung to the tune of “You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby”)

Well, you must have been a beautiful vomit,

You must have been a wonderful spew,

With cheese and apple pie,

And pumpernickel rye,

And half a pot of mulligan stew--

Well, you must have been a beautiful upchuck,

A wonderful upheaval of chow,

With clabbered chunks of meat

In puddles on the street,

Someone deserves to take a bow--

Well, you must have been a beautiful v-o-o-o-mit,

‘Cause vomit, look at you now!

(Come on and get it!)

‘Cause vomit, look at you now!

(It looks delicious!)

‘Cause vomit, look at you n-o-o-o-w!

Don Burleson offers the following remarks on his composition

of this revolting song:

I wrote these lyrics back in the late 1970s when my older son

Bruce was about nine and my younger son Brian was about six.

Bruce apparently took it upon himself to memorize the song,

because he actually performed it in front of the class one day

at school for “Show and Tell,” complete with pseudo-puking

histrionics etc. The boys in the class laughed raucously;

the girls in the class cringed and said, “E-e-e-w, gross!”

The teacher, wrinkling up her face, said, “Bruce, that’s disgusting!

Where did you learn it?” Whereupon Bruce replied,

with obvious pleasure, “My dad wrote it.”

I guess it’s little wonder everybody looked at me kind of funny

when I came to the school for Parents’ Night….